Menopause

I'm the only person in this hospital cafeteria besides a table of old ladies telling funny menopause stories. And their laughter is so loud the security guard keeps looking in to make sure everything's ok.  Will I ever be in the right place at the right time?

route 801 (business attire only)

Literally every person on this bus is wearing a suit and tie except for me.

once again reminded that life could be worse.

ONE MILLION MILES

My bus driver is named kent and he's driven one million miles without an accident, according to the patch on his shirt. Will they take away his shirt if he crashes? How many of those miles were driven with one hand down the front of his pants?  It doesnt seem very sanitary or safe, but then i remember the patch. Cant argue with one million miles.

romance on route 811 (in realtime)

12:55
kid in front of me is writing in his journal while i am reading it.  hes writing about the girl sitting next to him and how he's too scared to talk to her.
13:09
journal kid finally got up the courage and is now making incredibly awkward conversation with girl.  their conversation easily heard throughout the bus. people are starting to share looks and laugh.
13:11
girl just got off and gave awkward kid her name so they can be facebook friends.  and now hes writing in his journal again. cant read his writing this time but he's ending every sentence with two exclamation points.

dear diary

Saw a transvestite on campus.

LOOK BEHIND YOU

You know how you yell at the main character in a suspensful movie, 'LOOK OUT, SHE'S RIGHT BEHIND YOU!' and they almost take your advice but then decide to drive away without checking the back seat, and then they get strangled by a crazy lady?!

Lately, I'm that main character. Someone is yelling at the screen but i cant quite hear what they're saying. It could be, DONT DRINK THAT! or, CHECK BEHIND THE SHOWER CURTAIN! or even KISS HER ALREADY!

smokey

http://smokeyismad.ytmnd.com

DRAGONS

The day after I have a crazy dream I always hope someone says- 

"May all your dreams come true!"

So i can reply- 

"ARE YOU SURE?   You want dragons to become the planet's dominant species and for all mankind to be fighting for survival?!" 

Because that's what happened last night in my crazy head.

get her out of my heart

i've recently been having a hard time getting over a girl,

and it doesn't help that i see her face wherever i go.

i see her in the crowds at school,

i see her at the grocery store.

i see her in the line at the bank,

i see her at her dentist appointment.

i see her when she's eating with her friends,

i see her at her yoga class.

i see her when she's getting ready for bed,

and i see her when she's sleeping.

how do i get her out of my heart?!

purple alien

i biked across downtown during an afternoon blizzard to get to class on time. the ta spent the first 15 minutes of class showing facebook pics of his baby, which looks like a purple alien.

Train Wreck

train wreck

what if all your ex-girlfriends
were gathered in the same room
would they yell at each other?
would they fight to the death?
would it be like putting scorpions in jar
and shaking it up?
or like seeing an imminent train wreck,
you want to look away but can't

no, its much worse.

they would all get along really well
they'd share stories and laugh together
and form a facebook group
and agree to meet monthly

No joke.

While walking thru my house yesterday I found a small black bird trapped in a glass cupboard which is built into the wall of the living room.  After the initial shock I decided the only way for a bird to get inside a cupboard was if someone put it there as a joke.  So I put on some gloves and tossed him outside.  Thirty minutes later he was in the glass cabinet again. No joke.

Denmark is consistently rated the happiest country in the world

Last year while walking from the train station to a hostel in Copenhagen I came upon a burning car in the middle of an intersection. No one else was around, just me and the burning vw. During the next week there were street riots but because I dont speak Danish I didn't ever figure out why people were so upset. Today I finally got around to looking up some news articles and this is basically what i found out:

On March 1 the Danish government evicted all tenants/squatters from an abandoned building using Danish Special Forces. The building was completely torn down four days later.

During the next week, the largest riots since WWII took place in downtown Copenhagen. Angry mobs constructed street barricades and built bonfires in the middle of intersections. The riot police had to retake the suburb of Norrebro street by street.

After my initial shock of the burning car, the daily riots became pretty routine and I had assumed that was just what Denmark was like all the time.

Provo River Rapids

Yesterday was my first official day as a Provo River Raft Guide. I did the river twice, the first trip was a couple of teenage girls from the east coast who now believe that moose hide under water and that piranhas are native to the Utah. The second group was a bunch of scouts. Four rafts full of them. The entire 6 miles of river was an extended water fight.

green valley gap to guardsman's pass

Last week me and a couple buddies woke up early Friday and 3.5 hours later found ourselves in St. George, Utah. We climbed the famous Chuckwalla wall and then spent the evening with my grandparents. We spent Saturday biking a trail in the Green Valley Gap. What a sweet ride! After finishing the trail we looked to the Gap itself where we repelled into the red rock chasm and took turns climbing out. That night we ran into a couple of friends who happened to have access to a hot tub. Drove home Sunday morning and managed to make church. Parting ways with my buddies I crashed at my parents' place in Salt Lake. Monday was spent up at 9,000 ft with my dad and brother measuring the depth of the snow at Guardsman's Pass. Not a bad weekend.

 

Epic New Year

2007 will be a year for adventures.  Last week's adventure was surviving the medieval illness that threatened my immune system.

study

"Study without desire spoils the memory and it retains nothing that it takes in." -Leonardo da Vinci

You win, da Vinci, I'll never study again.

History Paper

i've got 7 more pages to write for my history paper and I'm writing a blog.... but i've got nothing to blog about. maybe if i take a break and write my history paper something will come to me.

sleep now or sleep later

stay up late tonight or wake up early tomorrow morning? Jack Bauer would, of course, not go to sleep at all.

Battle of Kadesh

I've got a two page paper due tomorrow in my Ancient Near East History class tomorrow morning which I haven't started. It's getting fairly late and all I've managed to accomplish is signing up for this blog.

test

how does this thing work? if i write stuff here does anyone see it?  how do blog blog blog blog. blog blog blog blog blog.  blog blog blog.  blog blog.  blog blog blog blog.